Sunday, June 19, 2016

Thoughts- some but not all related to Father's Day

It is Father's day and my Facebook feed is a stream of people putting up sepia tinted pictures of their fathers.

I cannot relate. I love my father, and I wish I could see him more often, but I am unable to channel all of this on Father's Day.

At the moment I am trying to get him to send me the phone number of my grandaunt so I can call and check on her. He is in Bangalore and I am in the U.S- the time difference matters and if he doesn't get on this within the next ten minutes or so I will have missed my window to make this call for yet another day. He is in the middle of dealing with his own mother, who has Alzheimer's and has of late been hitting the young girl we have hired to help care for her. I doubt my father can relate to the way we think of Mother's Day. Loving and caring for his mother have changed him, just as her illness has changed her.

 Every day we try to hold on a little bit more to the memory of who she used to be, so that we can handle who she has become now. Doing that hurts too, because things are so different, and we wonder how we became this way. Old age is horrible. Let no one say otherwise.

On Father's Day I think to myself, I hope I can be as present for my parents as they were for their own. I am all the way across the world, and have a decade or so to make it possible for them to live here, or convince myself that life would be better if I moved back.

What this means is that in my father's best years, and my mother's, which are now, I will be far far away. We are missing out on having fun with each other but there isn't a way in the world you could get me to move back to Bangalore at this point. I am so happy to have grown up there, but it now it makes me sad. Landing there and not being at the little airport near Indiranagar makes me sad. The long long road back to Koramangala makes me sad, as does the visible evidence of the corruption linked to the new airport. The air is impossible to breathe, and I feel the grime coating me- settling on me as I settle into the city. All the bisibelebhath and lunch thalis in the world cannot make up for the loss of the city I grew up in.

Landing in Delhi or Mumbai do not have the same effect. No matter how unbearably hot, or noisy Delhi is it will always have my heart. Delhi was ever uncomfortable- you just accept it and move on. Mumbai I have no feelings for- so landing there or not landing there have no meaning to me. Bangalore was my home, and I am having trouble accepting that it has changed so much, and become so very unlivable.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Skinny Broccoli Gratin


Makes 2 generous serves.
280 calories per portion.

Béchamel
Garlic- 1 small clove
Shallot- 1
Nutmeg- one small pinch
Mustard powder- optional- I used this because I saw the Colman's sitting in the pantry looking neglected
Milk- 1 cup, 240 ml- I used skim
Butter- 1 tbsp
Flour- 2 tbsp
Cooking spray, or a couple of drops of oil

Bake
Broccoli- 4 cups frozen, 400-450 gms
Onion- 1 or 2
Mozzarella- 28 gms

Salt and Pepper to taste.

  • Heat up a small saucepan and put in a few drops of oil. 
  • Put in the chopped shallot, and 2-3 min later the chopped garlic. 
  • Keep on heat till you can smell the garlic cook. 
  • Put in the butter and lower the temperature to keep it from burning.
  • Add the flour and cook till it stops smelling raw- 4-5 min. 
  • Add the milk mixing as you go. I did it in two rounds and settled in for a lot of stirring, but you can be more elegant about this and add the milk little by little. 
  • Add the nutmeg, mustard powder and some salt. 
  • Keep stirring, seek out the lumps and eliminate them. 
  • This should thicken in 5-10 minutes, over medium heat. 
  • Add water if needed and bring to a boil. 
  • Add salt and pepper as needed and take off the heat. I made sure there was enough sauce to cover the vegetables that I had put out in a glass baking dish. 
  • I used frozen broccoli- which I steamed for 2-3 minutes before setting aside. 
  • Mix the chopped onion with the broccoli, and a little salt before putting into a glass baking dish. 
  • Cover with the béchamel and bake for 20 minutes at 400F. 
  • Pull the dish out, add the mozzarella to the top and bake for another 15 min at 400F.
If the cheese seems too meagre you could increase the quantity, or add some flaked almonds to the topping.  I ate the almonds before they could get to the dish, so had none to put on, and it worked fine anyway.
I ate this over some plain pasta, but can see it going very well with warm bread.




Friday, June 10, 2016

Kale Palak Paneer

Some weeks ago we bought a bag of kale, thinking that we too should get with the times. Kale is terrifying, and I don't know too many ways to make it palatable, having failed more than once. Using it in Palak Paneer worked out well and here is the recipe.

Spinach leaves- I used 1 cup of frozen spinach to one handful of fresh kale- 2-3 cups
Kale- take it off those awful stems2-3 cups
Ginger- by eye- approx as much as the garlic
Garlic-not crazy amounts
Green Chili- I like lots
Cream- I add this tbsp by tbsp, and find myself adding 4-6 before I am happy.
Onion- who has time to cut more than one?
Tomato-chopped fine
Cashew nuts- one small fistful
Paneer- as much as you have. I'd use at least 400 gm
Coriander Powder
Amchur
Garam Masala
Anardana
Cumin
Oil
Milk- one cup (maybe)

Heat the oil.
Add Cumin.
Add the Onion- cook till soft.
Add the chopped Ginger and Garlic- cook till this stops smelling raw.
Add all the spices except for the Amchur and cook roast off.
Add the Tomato, Green Chili, Spinach, Kale and Cashew nuts. Add some milk to help things along.
Cook all of this till the Kale is softened and the Spinach cooked. This should take 10-15 minutes. Make sure it doesn't get too dry by adding milk.
Turn down the heat and transfer to your food processor in batches to blend. Kale has a very odd texture, and I did my best to get rid of this by pulverising it.
Add a little bit of oil to another pan, heat up, and brown the cubed Paneer. (Don't do this if you like the Paneer to stay soft)
Add the Amchur, Cream and Paneer to the pan, with the kale-palak mix, and bring to a boil.
Keep adding Cream and Salt till happy.
Finish by stirring in some Amchur.

I have no measurements for the spices. Just go with your gut, and be generous with the Amchur. It fixes everything. As does Cream.







Friday, May 20, 2016

Micro snakes

"It is like micro snakes, all trying to crawl up my nose and into my brain."
Says J about my hair.

It is so humid here that it feels like we could open the balcony door and just swim off into the sky.

Don't blame the hair. It is just trying to deal with summer, like all the rest of us.

Monday, March 28, 2016

Je ne regrette rien

Asparagus- so wonderful in the eating, so unpleasant the olfactory aftermath.
Oh well.


Friday, March 4, 2016

Spiders in the Stupa

I woke up screaming this morning at 4.52. J noted the time, as he prefers not to be woken up before 7.00.

I dreamt that I was with a friend, probably my Italian former-flatmate Jonathan, with whom I have enjoyed living and traveling. He's given to mystical musings, and has a deeply philosophical approach to many things, combined with the chance that any little things may drive him batshit. He is a dreamy temperamental sort. I am less dreamy, and often just as cranky.

In the dream Jonathan and I were walking in a crowded city, and looking for a quiet spot to rest and muse. The constant rushing, and racket of the city had gotten to us, and we needed to recover. We might have been in Thailand, it definitely felt very Asian. We might have been Buddhist monks, not sure. We did know that we had been left this Stupa in the middle of the city (by a benefactor, by friends, Airbnb booking, remains unclear). There was a giant gate, and a driveway that sloped down. The compound had lots of trees, overgrown greenery, and a complete absence of people. Some way in there was a beautiful black, red, cream and golden stupa, matching the work on the gate but larger. The top was not domed or pointed but shaped more like a gopuram- so kind of broad haipin like. I have a very clear picture of this still, even though it has been several hours.

We walked up to it, I was a step or two ahead of Jonathan. I walked towards the locked door, and had climbed up the first step when I saw a massive brown, white and yellow spider in the middle of a web that went diagonally across the entry way. It was looking at me, and moved as I started turn to run away.

At this point I freaked out and woke up crying. J rolled over, and had me tell him the dream. When I was done, and whimpering again from fear (I really do not like spiders) he said something which did nothing to make the situation better.

"Maybe it just wanted to give you a hug".

He tried to fix this later by adding "You know, like Charlotte, from the book". But it was too late.

No doubt tonight I shall have terrible dreams about spiders trying to hug me with all 8 legs, J will try to calm me by wrapping himself around me, I will try fight him off as if he were a spider, though he has only half the number of limbs,  and it will end with more frights and flailing, for at least one of us.


Saturday, February 27, 2016

Things I watched in December and January

Some of these might have been in November as well- but here is the round up.  

Movies

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2014)
I am a bit sad that Han and Leia's marriage became a casualty of the Star Wars story. This is all. I watched this twice with J, he loves the chases, and is a child of the original trilogy. I go along because I love the scope of things, but am bored by the inability to come up with an original story line. Might as well have gone and watched the very first ever- Star Wars: A New Hope. Though the new leads are great, and I like movies with female pilots/drivers/captains. 

In the Heart of the Sea (2014) 
Horribly boring. I don't know why anyone would try to make a movie about the writing of Moby Dick, when there isn't really much of a story there to tell- just make Moby Dick. I occasionally fall asleep at the movies, but never at the beginning. This movie sent me right off, with an incredibly slow start, though I have to say it never really picks up. The shots of the sea are beautiful, but that's the best thing about the movie. Most glaring misuse of opportunity that I have seen in a while.

Hasee to Phasee (2014)
Argh. Some bits were funny, but overall I found myself clenching my teeth, wishing the ridiculous mannerisms of the female lead would magically melt away. Siddharth whatsit is pleasant enough, but so boring that I've already forgotten his last name, and I have no intention of finding out.

Muriel's Wedding (1994)
I remember watching this as a child and loving it, not that I could have understood very well at the time. I love ABBA, and Toni Collete, and stories about women who do not have to marry to have their world complete.


DDLJ (1995)
I watched this one rainy morning, while doing chores. Has not aged well. Now that I am not a 10 year old, and am in a relationship with an actual human being, this movie seems more ridiculous than ever. Also I have lived in Switzerland- people do not just let Indian hitchhikers sleep in their barns, take kindly to women crawling on bar counters, or have shops open at 6 pm. That Ghar Aaja Pardesi song is still beautiful though.

Phoenix (2014)
This was playing at a theatre across town and I dragged J to it. This is about a woman coming to terms with the knowledge that her husband has done a terrible thing to her, working her way towards accepting his perfidy. I loved it. The music was excellent, as was the dialogue. There were long tense moments of silence, and the end was fantastic. It's not on Netflix, should anyone want to watch it. I suggest no breaks. 

Hannah Arendt (2012)
I am so happy I chanced upon this. I haven't seen too many movies where people have serious philosophical discussions, where talk of ethics doesn't devolve into parody. It was very very good. I know I watch too many Holocaust movies, but this was a most excellent one about the nature of evil, and how one might approach thinking about it. German, I think, and I like that they aren't afraid of long periods of silence.

Remembrance (2011)
Was really not that great, though Netflix had me believe otherwise. In this a Jewish woman manages to escape a concentration camp with her Polish revolutionary lover. They are separated soon after, and don't meet again until several decades have passed. I just don't have it in me to watch a movie about the power of love, I think. 

Ida (2014) 
So this is a black and white movie, set in Poland, where a girl who is about to become a nun discovers that she has Jewish heritage. Then she meets an aunt, who is a high-powered something or the other, and they go on a road trip. It was very good, very silent, and very lovely to watch. Very affirming in a way that Remembrance was not. 

Le Diner de Cons (1999)
Oh I don't even know. I'm sure this was funny at some point but it hasn't aged well for me, and this was the first time I was seeing it from beginning to end in one sitting, having seen bits and pieces before. Middle-aged cheating French men are my least favourite type, and I want to encounter less in in cinema, as in real life. 



TV 

Peaky Blinders
J and I watched this together. We powered through 3 seasons of Boardwalk Empire, to find that the other two cost $40 each or something (not doing that). This was our fix of Irish gangsters. The music was a bit jarring at the beginning, there is so much of Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds that you can take, but they moved on to a very P.J Harvey heavy season. We loved the show, and I look forward to its return later this year.

Jessica Jones
Another thing J and I watched together, mostly because I made him, and he likes watching people being thrown against building, of which there is a lot. As J pointed out over and over- the dialogue was regrettable, except when David Tennant was delivering it. He is fantastic. Krysten Ritter was too, but her character got a bit tiresome. Also she looks so much like Michael Jackson that it was most distracting. I was happy to see familiar faces on the show, but also happy for it to end. Marvel characters appear to be written by 13 year old boys, and one might argue that this is better than 50 year old men, but that is neither here nor there. I found the discussions of heroism tiresome. I am just not the target audience for this kind of show. 

Top of the Lake
I am, however, the target audience for this kind of show. Very well written. And lovely camera work. Most predictable end, but that wasn't the point of it. I was happy to watch it and look forward to the next season. Elizabeth Moss carries the whole thing on her most capable shoulders. It is very dark though, and almost completely unrelieved by humour.

Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries
I haven't seen enough Australian tv, and this is a lovely introduction. Phryne Fisher is a detective in Sydney in the late 20's. The show has a lovely eye for detail, and lots of interesting characters, including a Communist cab driver, an interfering aunt, a dapper police inspector, a bumbling junior policeman, and a delightfully bosomy right-hand woman. I cannot recommend this enough. If you have to watch one thing for joy this year- you can't go too wrong with this.

Appropriate Adult
This was my introduction to Emily Watson, and I have stalked her since. Like so many other excellent things this is an iTV miniseries. Dominic West plays a serial killer and Emily Watson plays the social worker assigned to his investigation. 

The Great British Baking Show
I have an unfortunate addiction to cooking shows like My Kitchen Rules, Masterchef (Australia and UK only please), and Top Chef. This one is great, full of stupid puns, and doesn't take itself too seriously. It's just a baking competition, not like and death with bellowing, as most American cooking contests would have it. 

Death Comes to Pemberley
Yes ok. Nothing spectacular. But lots of familiar faces. And Matthew Rhys. Who gives excellent smouldering stare. Also James Norton- whose beauty must be celebrated. 

Grantchester
is about a vicar who served in the 2nd World War, and his friendship with a detective, with whom he solves cases. He has an inexplicable attachment to a women who will not become his girlfriend, but who visits him often, is very proprietary. He has limited means, compassion for a closeted gay colleague of his, a stern housekeeper who delivers many sharp set-downs, and a sister with a black boyfriend. James Norton is most excellent. I found the show charming, and I look forward to the next season.

Happy Valley
Also has James Norton in it, but as a rapist and murderer. Someone joked on Twitter the other day that people pitched new shows to the BBC saying " Detective show, but here- insert name of small town".  Happy Valley is set in the Yorkshire Dales against the context of high drug use and trade in the area. Sarah Lancashire plays a police sergeant whose daughter committed suicide after being raped by the James Norton character. I had great fun watching this- would highly recommend.

Broadchurch
Is set in the town of Broadchurch, where a young boy has been murdered. A homegrown detective, played by Olivia Coleman, has been passed over as lead investigator, and is forced to work with a surly senior detective from Scotland, played by David Tennant. The story is great, and the cast is very good. Arthur Darvill from Doctor Who shows up, and he is wonderful. I want him to be in everything. This show is very very good.

The Escape Artist
Is a miniseries in which David Tennant plays a defence lawyer dealing with a dangerous client. There's no way to describe it without spoilers. It is a short three part series, and less compelling than Broadchurch, but it is a different, series. He is very good, as always, and I would watch anything with him in it. 

The Politician's Wife
Emily Watson and David Tennant play a married pair of ambitious politicians in this three part drama. The writing was somewhat predictable, but it was well-made, and fun for a weekend afternoon. The series describes the corruption of a marriage, with the two playing spy vs spy for a good part of it.